SELF CARE
Let’s talk self care!
I was talking to some friends of mine today about mom guilt and self care. It is a topic that I am pretty passionate about because I lost myself in motherhood for years and felt so much guilt for doing anything without my family (especially if it was for an extended amount of time) and anything that cost money but just benefitted me. Gosh, even typing those words I can vividly remember dying inside because I just wanted a few hours to myself but I would become consumed with negative thoughts when I took the time because I felt so guilty.
One day, I just decided that I was no longer going to do it. I was no longer going to neglect my own needs and feel guilty for taking care of myself. I don’t even remember the day but I remember after a lot of prayer and trying to talk myself out of it that I matter too. And guess what…so do you!
Now, self care and making yourself a priority looks different for everyone. What fills me up and makes me feel like my best self may not be the same for you and that is quite alright. The goal is self care is taking care of self so you have to do what feels good for yourself, not what works for someone else. For me, self care looks like getting my hair and nails done regularly, reading most nights (even if just for 20 minutes) before bed, having girls weekends every so often and taking space for quiet when I am feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated (this can be taking 30 minutes to be in my room alone on a random Tuesday I am feeling 🤯). And when I do these things and take this time….I cannot feel guilty about it. Otherwise, I just wasted my time!
Ladies!! I wish I could shout this from the rooftop!!!!!
Whether you are a mom or not is beside the point, we all deserve self care no matter our season of life. I truly believe that when we take care of ourselves well, we can take care of others well. When I make time to do the things that make me happy and fulfilled, I feel more energized and excited to help others do the same. When I feel like I am my best, I can do my best for those I love. When I don’t, I lack patience and empathy and understanding. I know this about myself and I bet you can relate too. When I am happy and fulfilled, I set the tone for those I love to do and feel the same.
I can remember the years I didn’t take care of myself well. The years where I let the guilt keep me from filling up my cup and you know what? I wish I could go back and change 100’s of reactions and situations that I was frustrated, tired and annoyed. I was tired and overwhelmed and pouring from an empty cup and I wish I could hug that Kate because it didn’t need to be that way.
So, this is me hugging you.
If you are feeling guilty for take time for you, for spending money on you I want to send you a virtual hug and tell you to let it go. You matter just as much as they do. A healthy, happy you is a healthy, happy them. It is money well spent and time well spent if you come out feeling better. And if you need to be reminded that its not selfish, here it is….taking time for self care isn’t selfish — its loving and caring for you and them!
I am here just trying to change the narrative for us all and for those women and girls that are coming behind us.
Let’s do better for ourselves because we deserve it and are worth it and because, it means we get to do better for them too!!! Cheering you on one self care choice at a time! 💗
