Faith Journey
It’s been a while since I have shared my faith journey on the blog, you can read a few posts here that I have shared along the way.
When I left ministry 2 years ago I have to admit that I wasn’t in the best place in my faith — I just lost my Grandma and was going through a lot of “church hurt” at the same time with the church that I was working for. I won’t go into those details out of respect for the church but I have to admit that since then my faith has been a very sensitive subject for me.
While my belief and faith in God hasn’t wavered, my feelings towards the church have and truthfully, I have found it hard to want to consistently go to church and be excited to be there. And while I have shared that with some trusted friends, it feels really vulnerable to put that out here in the world.
Part of me doesn’t even know why I am sharing this here but the other part of me knows that there is freedom in sharing exactly where I am. And I also know that I am not the only one who has had these feelings before so there is part of me that knows that in sharing this if one person doesn’t feel so alone in that same journey then it was worth putting myself out there.
If you too are finding yourself in the same position here are some things that have been helping me in this season -
Grace upon grace. Extending myself the same grace I would give someone else is key in my healing.
Being honest with those around me. From my family to my small group I have shared where I am so that I can have people praying for me and helping me walk through this season.
Don’t give up. Even though I am not excited to go to church, I still attend and I pray every week that God would continue to walk beside me in this journey especially on Sunday’s when I struggle the most.
Not getting too involved — I attend on Sunday, go to my small group but right now is not the season of serving for me. Joe and Savannah both serve but I just attend right now and that feels like the best thing, to just receive in this season.
Don’t blame your current church. It’s easy to carry over hurt from one church to the next but it isn’t healthy so I have tried my very best to constantly separate the two! And most importantly remember that God is not the church, He isn’t to blame either!
