4 WAYS TO REESTABLISH YOUR BOUNDARIES
Hi, my name is Kate and I am the queen of letting people cross my boundaries. 😬
Or, I should say that I was the queen until I took myself right off that throne and decided I never wanted to sit there again or wear that crown. You can have it, it ain’t for me.
But, maybe you don’t want it either.
You shouldn’t want it.
It is actually not a badge of honor that you should want to wear.
How do I know this? Well, I learned it the hard way. And it led me straight to burnout.
This morning I was chatting with a couple friends, in different conversations and the concept of boundaries came up because of two different things that I am navigating (one personally and one professionally) and I shared with them both how I realized that my boundaries were being crossed lately and how I took this weekend to reset.
How did I know my boundaries were being crossed? Well, I was tired. Like bones hurt can’t shake the grogginess tired. I was irritable. My stomach has been killing me. I dread to anything. So, I knew I needed a reset.
If you find yourself in a similar season or situation here are 4 ways I bring myself back into alignment with my boundaries -
Rest Up. The first thing I do is rest. Yesterday, we skipped church and slept in. We stayed in our pajamas all day long. Watched movies. Napped. Everyone ate whatever they wanted. It was a total rest day. And it was everything I needed (and my family needed it too).
Name It. Today after a day of rest (so that I had a clearer head) I had to name what was crossing my boundaries. While I knew it, I had to actually name it so I could address it. I had to come face to face with it so I could evaluate why my boundaries were being crossed and make a plan to reestablish the boundary.
Change It. Once you have a clear head and name it you can start to change it. Someone I love to follow (Brittany Bollard) says, if you don’t change it you choose it. So, once I named it I came up with a plan to make 1-2 changes/shifts to reestablish boundaries. The reason I only do 1-2 is because any more than that is overwhelming and if you are aware of your boundaries you just probably need to get back into alignment so 1-2 shifts are enough.
Ditch It. One way to reestablish that boundary? Let it go. Are you doing something that no longer serves you and takes you out of alignment? Don’t be afraid to let it go. It is okay if something works in one season but not in another, you are in control and you get to choose!
